Fragile
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: Co-writer: E. Scribbles - After a recent fight, Casey and Olivia aren't speaking. The two meet up at the airport, having already bought the tickets to a vacation before said fight. Can the two work things out, or will Olivia's jealousy and over protectiveness push them farther apart? And what's the reason for this rash behavior? T-M
1. Jealous

Fragile

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 1: Jealous**

Olivia ran towards the line, breathless, but grateful she'd made the flight on time. Something Casey had been positive she wouldn't. So sure, the ADA had been that she had bought a seat on the next two flights as well. Gripping her boarding pass, Olivia looked over the sea of travelers and was grateful to see a red head among them. Cautiously, she slipped through the crowd and put a hand on the redhead's waist.

"You're...here? Really? Thought you said you wanted nothing more to do with me?" she asked skeptically.

Olivia's hand hesitated, but stayed on Casey's waist. "Case...I was angry..."

"Just angry? I remember a physical sting. And for what? Because I was having lunch with someone I needed files from for _your_ case?"

Olivia lowered her gaze, her hand beginning a familiar dance on Casey's side that she did when trying to calm her down. "I know. I know. But she..." The memory flooded her for a moment, of the woman's fluttering eyelashes, her giggle, her hand touching Casey's knee. "She wanted you Casey! And you knew she did! You played up to it! I had a right to be angry."

"You didn't have to argue with me in front if everyone in that packed restaurant! I had to do it. She never would've given me the file. You didn't have to follow me! When have I given you a reason not to trust me?"

"She is manipulative! She would have got what she wanted from you!" As Casey pushed Olivia's hand from her waist, Olivia almost felt something between then shatter. Angry, weary, sad, scared, happy...they had always gone to each other, even if the other person was the cause of that emotion. Never before had Casey rejected her touch. She stared down at her hand, apparently unsure what to do with it anymore.

Casey just continued to move with the line. She knew something had just broken between them, but if Olivia couldn't trust her now...maybe it wasn't worth trying to fix.

Olivia stood stock still until she was hustled forward by people walking behind her. She followed Casey silently onto the plane, but when she saw the lone male sitting in the window seat of their row give Casey a wide smile, she promptly pushed past her to sit next to him. "These are our seats, Case."

She sighed. "I know. I'm the one who got the flight, remember?"

The man reached out a hand to Casey. "I think we've met before. ADA Novak, right? I own the coffee shop that you get lu—" He was cut midway through when Olivia shook his hand and half pushed him back into his seat.

"Coffee shop? How lovely and enterprising. If you don't mind, we were talking..."

Casey turned toward her. "Really? I don't remember a worthwhile conversation."

"You'd rather talk about making a latte with a barista?"

"Oh and what was the conversation you wanted to have? Where you assume I would cheat on you?"

The man sat back and folded his arms, hoping it would be a short flight.

Olivia's eyes flashed. "I never said that. Put your belt on."

She sighed. "Yeah, you did. Did you want me to do that? Is that why it was such a big deal that it required you to follow me everywhere I went that day?" she asked, clicking her belt.

Olivia, accustomed to the fact Casey always struggled to tighten the plane belts, went to do it for her. "I told you, I wasn't following you! I checked your diary, in which you'd underlined her name by the way..."

"Checked? You spied on me!"

"You left it on my desk! I thought you had something planned and you'd left it on purpose!" Olivia's eyes flitted uneasily to the window as the plane prepared for takeoff.

"I've never done that."

"So? We've never...had sex in a broom closet until last week. There's a first time for everything!" She gripped the armrest tightly as the plane vibrated.

She smiled. "Yeah that was...cramped...and I ripped my skirt. Actually, you ripped it."

Olivia's eyes shut as the plane began to move. She remembered why she hated holidays now. The barista took the opportunity to smile at Casey again.

Casey just smiled back, resting a hand on Olivia's arm for comfort. "You said you owned the coffee shop? I don't think I've seen you but a few times. It's usually overcrowded."

He glanced at Olivia, but was relieved to find she was more focused on keeping food down and remaining alive for the moment. "It's pretty productive, to say the least. I don't have to work there that often, only when there are a lot of staff off or I'm feeling bored. Is your...is she...she's a bit..." He glanced at Olivia again.

Casey placed an open bag in her fingers. "We didn't have to fly anywhere, Liv, really. I know how you get. It's gonna be okay." Forgetting their fight, she wrapped an arm around her. "Just try to sleep a bit, okay?"

"You said you wanted to go here though. I wanted to come with you so you didn't go with your friends." Her voice faded as she finished her sentence, knowing she should have, at least phrased it better.

Casey sighed. "What does that mean? You're jealous of my friends?"

"I didn't mean...there's just...Some of your friends are..." Olivia momentarily forget her fear as the warmth of Casey's arm left her and she sat up.

"Just tell me. There's no reason for this argument to get in the way of our trip..."

"...I don't trust them. I've done background checks on some of them and—" She stopped when she saw the look on Casey's face.

"Background checks? Were those for your benefit or mine?" she asked, sitting back and crossing her arms.

"For both of us! I wanted to make sure people weren't just after something from you...because I didn't want you to get hurt."

Casey rested a hand on hers. "I appreciate it, but next time, could you tell me?"

Olivia nodded earnestly, gripping a tight hand to the barista's arm to stop him as he went to speak.

Casey brought her hand up and kissed it. "It's okay, Olivia. He's a good guy. What? I can't talk to people?"

Jealousy sparked in her eyes, but as she seemed to have made an uneasy peace with Casey, she sat back and allowed him to talk. "Was just going to mention, most days I see you at the coffee shop, she appears and waits outside. I thought she was a guard or something."

She nodded, kissing her cheek. "She's my _personal_ guard, my favorite!"

"Not too sure I'd like a guard to come in and check what I've eaten and who I've spoken to.."

She shrugged. "Yeah, I understand that, but she's much more to me than a guard," she looked at Olivia, "right?"

"...I hope so," Olivia said softly.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Now what?

Thanks to: That70sShowLova for Beta-ing!

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	2. Sorrowful Rage

Fragile

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 2: Sorrowful Rage**

Olivia grabbed the man by his collar, pushing him against the tiled wall of the airport. "You think that's appropriate behavior? I could arrest you for that!"

"Calm down! I just told her she was pretty, tapped her bum. She laughed!" His eyes bugged out a little, searching for someone in the crowd to help him.

Casey wrenched her away. "Olivia! For God's sake!"

The guy ducked away as Olivia attempted to grab him again. "I could get you arrested! For assault!"

Olivia managed to corner him, her hand moving menacingly to her hip. "Try it."

Casey wrapped an arm around her."We've got more important things to worry about than him, come on. Just forget him."

Olivia stepped back, but kept her eyes on him.

Casey led her away. "Come on, Liv. This trip is supposed to be for us."

Olivia walked backwards, watching the man, before finally, reluctantly, turning to walk properly, next to Casey. "Idiot."

Casey shook her head. "Shouldn't I consider it a compliment? That I'm wanted by many, but taken by one?"

"It was assault, Casey! He touched you!"

"He didn't hurt me! You touched me before we were together. I didn't have you arrested!"

"Because...that was different! You wanted that! And you knew me!"

"I didn't say I wanted it! I just...after it started I didn't want it to stop! You just...felt so good. Even though you were a bit inexperienced. I didn't care. And, yes, I did know you, but not like that."

"...So you didn't want me to start? Nice. You've always told me you wanted me to make the first move."

"...Because I was uncomfortable being the assertive one. I never said I didn't want...that soon just surprised me. Shocked me. We'd kissed a few times, but nothing beyond that. Look, no matter how my words are clashing now with what happened then, I am glad it happened, Olivia. I just wish you would trust that you're the only one for me."

Olivia had apparently not heard a word she'd said, and wrapped an arm possessively around her neck as she watched the man leave the airport.

Casey sighed. "Olivia. You weren't even listening to me!"

She stared at his back until it disappeared, then looked at Casey. "What?"

Casey wrenched herself from her embrace, walked over to grab their bags and handed Olivia hers. She sighed again, pulling a piece of paper from her purse and writing the name of the hotel on it before thrusting it into her palm. "Here. I'm going straight there. Maybe when your jade is dispersed you'll join me and we can actually talk?" And she walked away, pulling her suitcase behind her.

Olivia stood still for a moment, then attempted to follow her, but by the time she got outside, the sidewalk was full and she could no longer see her. With a sigh, she hailed a cab.

* * *

Casey was already standing outside the hotel. Walking in, the owner greeted her. She grabbed one key, explained that Olivia would probably be arriving shortly and headed to the lift.

Once more, by the time Olivia arrived, the place was full and someone else had taken over the desk. Despite explaining several times the situation, Olivia finally relented and accepted a key to a different room, stomping angrily into the lift.

Casey's cell rang beside her. "Hey Liv. What's going on?"

"Why did you tell them not to give me a key? You could have at least told me you didn't want to share a room. I'm on level 3 in a shitty broom closet next to the lift if you want me." She promptly hung up.

Casey sighed, heading down to the room, knocking.

Olivia pulled open the door, her shirt stripped, wearing only a singlet and underwear. "I've got a headache. I'm having a nap. What do you want?"

Casey stared. "You open a hotel room door looking like that? Not that you don't look great, but..." she sighed. "Never mind. May I come in for a few minutes?"

Olivia stood silently for a moment before stepping aside.

Casey walked in, standing in the middle of the room. "I didn't tell them not to give you a key. In fact, I described what you looked like so that you would get one. Staff must've changed by the time you got here."

Olivia folded her arms, resting against the door.

"Liv, I don't want anyone else. I want you. I miss you."

"Miss me so much you go on a holiday without expecting me to come?"

"I thought you said you weren't going to bother after our fight. I...I didn't have the time to argue, tell you how much I want you with me. If I could've found time between that triple rape-homicide and before we stepped on that plane, I would've, I swear," Casey said earnestly.

"But you decided to come anyway, that's how much you want and miss me?" Olivia moved to the window, opening it to walk onto the tiny balcony.

Casey followed her. "Yes, I did, but... I know how much you hate flying. Another reason why I was surprised you showed up... Why are you suddenly so protective hmm? What could you possibly think I need that you can't give me? I know you don't want me hurt. That's understandable. But lately it feels like you're overdoing it. I'm not saying stop...completely, but is it too much to want to know why?"

Olivia lent on the railings and looked down, but didn't answer.

"Liv..."

"Like I said, I was having a nap, so..."

"Olivia, will you please come back to our room with me? I'll get the extra key from management. I just...this trip is still for us and...well, I don't feel us. I want to."

"...Maybe later." Olivia walked back into the room, propping the balcony doors open, before slipping into the bed.

Casey sighed, looking over the balcony. It wasn't much of a view compared to the other room. She walked back into the room, closing the balcony doors before leaning against the wall. Olivia had her back to her. She walked over, leaned over the bed and kissed her cheek. "No matter what you think, Olivia, I'm yours. I always have been. I'm in room 511," she whispered. "I love you." She walked over and was going to leave, but something made her stay, sitting at the table and staring out the window.

Olivia lay with her eyes shut, but couldn't sleep.

Casey sighed, resting her feet on the chair in front of her, exhausted from the flight. She wanted to lay next to her, but what if Olivia didn't want her there?

Olivia pulled the blankets tighter around herself, remembering the case that had come in a week ago. A wife had been stalked for years, no one had really picked up on it until the husband had begun to think she was having an affair, and when he'd confronted the man, he was killed, and the man kept the woman in his house for weeks before finally killing her in a murder-suicide. A shiver shook her body as she pictured the redhead, lying tied to a bed, apparently peaceful, but covered in blood. She buried her head on the pillow, trying to stop the thoughts.

Casey's eyes opened. She could've sworn she heard Olivia cry just for second. Even though it wasn't ongoing, it still worried her. She slipped off her shoes and walked over to the side of the bed, resting a hand on her back and rubbing circles. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Olivia shrugged her off and spoke hoarsely. "I'm trying to sleep."

"I know," she spoke softly, "but I hate it when you're trying to sleep off the pain. It never works. You always give yourself away by crying lightly or a whimper. I know you. Better than you know you. The cases that hit close to home make it so you can't even sleep in your own bed. You sleep at the precinct more often than your apartment because you feel safer. And...you hide it from me, not because you don't want help, but because you think I can't handle it."

"And you can't, Casey! So go! Leave me alone."

She just stood there. "Try me. You never know until you try. Isn't that what you told me when this relationship began? You never know what will happen until you try?"

Olivia kept her eyes shut, the image of the woman in her mind flickering between her real face and Casey's face. A few moments later, Olivia stood, pulling on her jeans. "If you won't leave, I will."

Casey shook her head. "Fine, be a child about it. I don't give a damn! It's no wonder you can't maintain anything long-term. You close everyone out. Maybe one day, you won't have to see me anymore!" And she stalked from the room, slamming the door. She got upstairs and into the room, locking it before heading to the shower.

Olivia slipped down into a chair and sat there for a long time before finally letting her tears flow.

Casey stepped from the shower about 20 minutes later, her mind none the clearer as she slipped into a swimsuit and tied a robe around herself as well as throwing a towel over her arm. She tried Olivia's phone, but it went straight to voicemail. "Hey, its me. I don't even know why I'm bothering to tell you, but I'm heading outside to sunbathe. Not like you deserve an explanation. I hope I see you sometime during this trip." And she hung up.

Olivia had attempted to sleep again, but had soon given up, her thoughts still full of Casey. She listened to the voicemail a few minutes after it was left, and got outside just in time to see one of the employees begin to rub sunscreen on Casey's back.

Casey's eyes had just closed when suddenly the hands disappeared and she heard a loud splash.

Casey looked up, seeing Olivia walking back over from throwing the employee into the water. "What? I'm not allowed to have help? I mean, obviously, you don't want to do it so..."

Olivia sat on the edge of the seat and watched the employee as he climbed out of the pool, gesturing widely at Olivia as he spoke to a manager.

Casey handed her the bottle. "As long as you're here, do you mind? Not saying we'll be staying long..."

Olivia did as she asked, her hand caressing more than just rubbing, but she kept her eyes on the employee, then the manager as he walked over. "Are you two ah...ladies...guests here?"

Casey looked up. "Yes, would you like us to go back to the hotel? My girlfriend gets jealous easily."

His eyes turned to look at Olivia, eyeing her for a moment before speaking. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

She sighed, nodding before getting up, wrapping the towel around herself and walking back into the hotel.

Olivia followed her, this time managing to utter a quiet apology.

Casey sighed, anger evident. "Sorry? How can you be sorry, Olivia? This was supposed to be our week and you ignore me and suddenly you're jealous because someone kindly offered to help me? He was an employee, Olivia! Even if he would've asked I would've turned him down, though only God knows why seeing as your actions succeeded in getting us out of here in less than four hours!" she ranted as they stepped onto the lift. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

To her surprise, tears shone in Olivia's eyes and she turned away.

Casey turned toward her, taking her hand gently. "Why can't you believe that I only see you?"

"It's not...it's not that. I..."

The lift stopped on the third floor and Casey pulled Olivia with her into the room, closing the door. "Then please tell me."

"I can't." Olivia looked up at her earnestly.

Casey sat her on the bed, kneeling in front of her. "Yes you can. You can tell me anything. I'm not angry about the sunscreen. I'm upset that you're in so much pain over something that you won't talk to me about. Please? I love you. I just want to help. You can sit here and cry. That's okay, but I just... it's like you think I'm not worth having in your life, Olivia and that hurts."

Olivia reached out to take her face in her hands. "No! That's not it, Casey. Please don't think that."

Tears stung her eyes and began to fall. "What am I supposed to think? You won't talk to me."

Olivia struggled to find the words to tell her what happened. All she could manage was. "She had...she looked so much like...I'm so scared."

Casey immediately wrapped her arms around her. "What happened? It's okay. Tell me."

Olivia shook her head, hard, standing up, moving away. "I need to go and...I'll find somewhere else for us to stay." She backed towards the door.

Casey followed her, grabbing her hand. "Olivia, it hurts, but please don't say you're scared and then walk away. Makes me feel worse. Like you...wish I wasn't here."

Olivia bent forward to kiss her cheek, gently, then left the room.

Casey pulled the door open quickly. "I'll grab your things and you come meet me upstairs, okay?"

Half an hour later, Casey was still waiting in her room for Olivia. When she heard a knock on the door, she jumped up to open it, but only found an employee standing there. "I've come to help you downstairs with your luggage."

She nodded, pointing to the bags. "Thank you, but where's Olivia?"

"Oliv—oh, the one who...she was trying to find somewhere else for you to stay, but everywhere is so busy at this time of year. She attempted an apology, then ended up knocking someone out. She'll be at the police station, no doubt."

Casey sighed. "Then you'll need to put these in a cab for me. I'd better go get her."

* * *

Olivia was sat in a cell, having an argument with a sergeant who refused to let her make a phone call.

"I thought everyone was entitled one call!"

Casey smiled from the doorway. "You would know."

Olivia turned to look at her, relief flooding her face.

The policeman folded his arms. "And you are?"

Casey walked over. "Her bail." She flashed her ID badge. "How much is it?"

He looked between them, then addressed Casey. "We aren't pressing charges."

She crossed her arms. "Then why is she in jail?"

"She's insisting she's a police officer. We think she may be mentally disturbed."

She shook her head. "She's not. Her name is Olivia Benson. She works for Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. If you don't believe me, type her name into your database and see what pops up."

"...That's not the name she gave us."

She sighed. "Of course it isn't, but type it in anyway."

He typed it in, then looked towards Olivia. "...Says here you're missing."

Casey looked over. "What else did you do to piss someone off?"

Olivia scuffed her shoes, not looking up. "I'm supposed to be at work. There's a case..."

"And you skipped without telling Cragen?" she sighed. "Benson, I swear. Would you mind if I used your phone to clear up the glitch?"

The police officer handed her the phone.

Casey dialed Cragen. It rang five times.

"Cragen."

"It's Casey. Olivia's not missing. She's with me and, before you say anything, I had no idea she was supposed to be working a case. I'd planned a week off. She was going to come with me, we had an argument and then she surprised me by showing at the airport."

He sighed and was silent for a moment. "I'm not particularly surprised. We only put her status as missing because she was rather...angry when she left here, I figured she'd end up with cops somewhere down the line and we'd find out where she was. Is she ok?"

"Yes, well, other than the police officer thinking she was mentally disabled because she claimed to be an officer, but gave a phony name, probably so you wouldn't find out."

He sighed again, rubbing his head. "I would ask to talk to her, but...just...look after her. Tell her she can have all the time she needs. It was hard for everyone, but I know it was worse for her."

"Maybe that's what's wrong, but I think I should hear it from her. Do you want to talk to her?"

"No, I need to get back. Just...look after her, Novak."

"Absolutely. When we get back, I'll bring her in personally."

Olivia sat back, scratching at her wrists where the handcuffs had left marks, glaring angrily at the sergeant.

Casey handed him the phone. "Should be cleared up momentarily. Now, please release her."

He waited until her file updated before releasing Olivia from the hold.

Casey took her wrist. "Where to? We can't stay here."

Olivia flinched, her wrist still red. "I only found one hotel that had any rooms available, but..."

"Sorry," she said, grabbing her hand instead. "But what?"

"Only one room."

"So, what's the problem? It's not like we've never shared a bed."

"I didn't think you'd want to." Olivia slid into the waiting taxi.

Casey sat beside her. "Of course I want to. Why would you ever think I wouldn't?"

Olivia just sighed and rested her head on the back of the seat, closing her eyes.

Casey gently caressed her wrists. "Wow, I'd say these were a few times too tight."

A moment later, Olivia hesitantly rested her head on Casey's shoulder, and by the time they reached the hotel, she was fast asleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Now what?

Review: Ren Victoria & kai

Thanks to: That70sShowLova for Beta-ing!

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	3. Give

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult content.**

* * *

Fragile

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 3: Give**

Casey walked in, holding Olivia up, over to the front desk and rang the bell.

At the sound of the bell, Olivia woke up further and began her apologies again.

Casey just smiled, waving it off as the attendant approached. "You can make up for it by checking us in."

Casey was relieved to see most of the staff were female, and Olivia didn't seem to have as much of an issue with them. They got to their new room without incident, and once there, Olivia sat on the bed, looking down at her hands.

Casey dropped the bags by the door, then went over to sit beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Now what?"

"...You could go and sun bake?" Olivia gave a half smile.

She smiled. "No, what do you want to do? And don't you mean _sunbathe_?"

Olivia gave a shrug and a sigh.

"Olivia, I...want to help, but first you need to say what you need help with. Or we...could put it off a bit and you could come outside with me? Rub the oil on my bare back?" she asked with a raised brow.

Olivia was reluctant to talk, and to go outside, but the thought of someone else once more rubbing her back made her stand up with a nod.

Casey smiled, worriedly, as she walked into the bathroom, shed her clothes and walked back out in her bathing suit, a towel over her arm. "Would you like to join me?"

"I'll just...stay dressed like this." She held open the door.

Casey smiled. "You could at least leave your jacket here. I'd be afraid of you dying of heat stroke."

She reluctantly slid her jacket off, showing her gun holster underneath.

"And the gun, please? You badge clipped to your jeans should be enough indication."

She again reluctantly slid it off, putting it in the room safe.

Casey walked up behind her, wrapping her arms around her. "Now, before we go, I want you to promise me something, okay? With me, dressed like this, as much as you hate it and I don't particularly care for it either, men are bound to whistle and make cat calls. I'll ignore them, tell them to shove it or just wrap my arms around you, but I need you to promise me you won't threaten anyone, okay? I don't see anyone else anyway, even when we're apart, I promise. All I want is to be with you."

The image of the dead woman, her red hair spread around her, flashed before her eyes again. "...I'll try."

Casey kissed her cheek. "That's all I'm asking. I can handle them. I just need to be sure you can too."

"But you can't handle them Casey, you..." She looked at her earnestly for a moment, before stepping from her grip and making her way to the door.

Casey walked up beside her, closing the door. "Why not? I face the same scum you face every day. I'm tough, just not physically like you are."

She gritted her jaw, not looking at her. "If you want to get somewhere to lie, we should go out now."

She nodded. "Just...let me say one last thing?"

She looked warily at her.

"When I talked to Cragen earlier, he was glad to know you were okay. He wasn't concerned with the case. You know what he was most concerned with? Your well-being. He...he asked me to look after you, which makes me realize that something very traumatic has happened to where you needed to get away. You don't have to tell me now, even on this trip, but Olivia, if your boss personally asks me to take care of you I know you're terrified of something. And I do plan to take care of you. Just...tell me when you're ready, okay?" she said, wrapping her arms around her. "Don't forget that I love you too. And I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better about whatever's going on."

Olivia shut her eyes tightly, willing her body to stop shaking.

Casey just held her close, rubbing her back. "I'm here, right here. I'm never going away," she whispered. "I love you. Every little bit of you, even the parts that you hate. I love them because they make you who you are. You protect me and I'm glad, but, once in a while, you need to let me protect your sanity, shelter you. You always act so strong, Olivia. It must get tiring."

Olivia moved away, glanced towards the safe, then stepped around Casey to open the door again. "We should go."

She smiled a bit brighter, knowing she'd succeeded in breaking a barrier or two and it was a start. "Okay," she said, walking out ahead of her and 'accidentally' dropping the suntan oil in front of her, grinning as she bent down to pick it up as she heard Olivia crack a smile. She turned to her, extending her hand as Olivia locked the door. "Shall we?"

* * *

Outside, Olivia rubbed the lotion on Casey's back. Her hands hesitated for a moment, and Casey was about to speak when she felt Olivia's lips drop gently to her neck before her hands continued to rub.

Casey sighed, which ended in a giggle as Olivia's hands kept rubbing her back. "Olivia..." she whispered.

A second later, her warm hands left her back. "Done."

She pouted. "Awww!"

Olivia sat on the edge of the seat rigidly

Casey ran a hand up her back. "We don't have to stay out here. We could do what you want to do."

She shivered at the touch. "It's fine out here."

Casey sighed. "Can you turn so I can lay my head in your lap?"

Olivia hesitated, but then did as she asked.

Casey pulled a hand to her chest, holding it close. "I'm okay, Olivia. Really."

Olivia looked at her for a moment, then brushed her cheek with her hand. "For the moment."

Casey cupped her chin, bringing her to look into her eyes. "What does that mean? It's not 'nothing', Olivia. Something's wrong. It—it's like you want nothing to do with me or like I did something to upset you."

"No, it's not you! It's...I can't talk about it, Casey, please."

She sighed, standing up and walking away. "Then I guess I'm not worth your time, am I?"

Olivia followed her.

Casey walked slowly along the beach, her feet caught in the shallow waves until she came to a deserted cove. Walking over to the middle, she sat, extending her legs into the water. "I'm surprised you followed me. Thought you'd be happier in your misery without me."

Without speaking, Olivia sank into the sand a few steps away from her, drawing her knees up to her chest.

Casey looked over, seeing her curled into a ball. She swallowed hard, watching as Olivia's body began to shake. "Hey, Liv, I-I'm s-" but her sentence went unheard as her cries were barely covered by the sound of the waves. She scooted over, laying a hand on her leg. "I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to help you if I don't know what's going on?"

"I can't stop. I can't stop seeing it and I don't want to see it anymore, please make it stop!"

Casey pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back. "Make what stop? Tell me."

"She looked so much like you...she looked exactly like you and it...what if I can't stop it happening? What if I can't look after you? I'm so scared."

Casey found herself unable to stop the tears. "Olivia, listen to me. First, I want you to sit in my lap and hold on tight, okay?"

Olivia struggled against her, but soon gave in and rested against her.

"That's my girl. She might have looked like me, but she wasn't me. I'm right here, safe, with you, like always. You wouldn't let me be hurt. I trust you," she said, looking out at the waves. "No one knows what's going to happen, but I'd like to think I'm smart enough to know a bad situation when I see one."

"...She was a DA, Casey. She thought that too."

"Does that mean you don't think I could get out of it? Everybody gets caught off guard sometimes..."

"He was following her for months. Maybe years. No one knew until...Casey, I can't lose you. I can't."

"What do you want me to do, Olivia, quit because one victim reminded me of you?"

"No, it...I don't know, I don't know anymore."

She sighed, holding her close and rubbing her back. "I promise I'll be careful from now on. What else do you want me to do? Liv, I love you and I hate that this is tearing you apart."

She kept repeating the words, "I don't know, I don't know anymore," over and over again, quietly.

Casey sat and rocked her gently repeating again and again, "I'm safe. I'm okay. Fall. I'll catch you."

She soon grew quiet, but gripped onto Casey tightly still.

"Shh, it's okay. Nobody's here but us. Let it go. Liv. Cry, scream, I've got you. I promise."

Casey felt something in Olivia give. Her body, normally so strong, seemed to weaken, and her body seemed to relax a little. It took a long time for Casey to realize she'd fallen asleep.

Quietly, she wrapped the towel around her own shoulders, noticing the wind was picking up and the sun was setting. It didn't seem like they'd been there that long. After a bit, she nudged her. "Olivia."

She grumbled, but unusually, didn't wake.

Casey sat her up. "Olivia."

Her eyes finally flickered open about five minutes later.

"Honey, it's getting cold out here. Maybe we should head back inside?"

She nodded, but still rested against her.

"We need to get up for that to happen, then we can get into that nice warm bed where I can hold you tight."

* * *

The whole way back to the hotel, Olivia let Casey lead her and didn't say a word.

Once they were back inside, Casey laid Olivia—clad in only her white shirt and boxers—under the covers while she changed into something warmer before slipping in beside her.

Olivia was already heavily asleep by the time got Casey into bed and didn't wake when her phone began to ring, showing Elliot's name.

Sighing, Casey got out of bed and answered, walking into the bathroom. "Hello?"

"Casey? Why are you...is she okay?"

"Yes, yes, she's okay. Did Cragen tell you?"

"He told me someone had called in about her. He didn't say how she was."

She sighed. "Yes, she's okay. Did you call for something important or can I get back to her?"

"Yes, just...can you please tell her that it's okay? No one thinks badly of her?"

"For what?"

He was silent for a moment, a little stunned. "She was sick at the crime scene. She walked all over it, touched everything..."

"Because the woman looked like me?"

"She didn't just look like you, Case...everything about her...I'll e-mail you the file, have you got your phone with you?"

She walked out, grabbed it, then walked back. "Yes. Why?"

He e-mailed the file quickly to her. The photo looked exactly like her, albeit with a different haircut. "See?"

"I...I...wow. Sure they weren't looking for me?"

"The guy who did it, we have him. He was after her for months. He followed her around, the walls of his apartment were full of photos of her, things of hers...the only reason anyone knew she was being followed was because her husband got jealous because he suddenly realized he was always seeing the same guy pop up everywhere and thought she was cheating on him, but when he went home to confront her, she was dead."

"No wonder she was so distant and jealous."

"Last time I saw her, she was having a panic attack. I've never seen her that bad before."

Casey looked into the other room where Olivia was struggling in her sleep and calling for her. She walked over and pulled her close. "Liv, it's okay. I'm okay."

Elliot sighed. "I'll...call me if you need to...or if you want to." He hung up the phone as Olivia woke up.

Casey closed the phone, setting both on the stand beside her before pulling her into her arms and kissing her cheek. "It's okay. You're okay."

"Is the door...have you checked the doors, the windows?"

She nodded. "After I laid you down. Everywhere is secure. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

Olivia's eyes surveyed the room before looking to Casey. "We haven't had dinner."

"We could order room service?"

"Will you go in the bathroom while I answer the door?"

"Olivia..."

"Please?"

She sighed. "Fine, yes I will."

Olivia allowed her to order the food, but insisted, when it was delivered, that she go in the bathroom and shut the door. When she made sure Casey had done so, she opened the door.

"Room service," the waiter said, wheeling a cart with a silver platter in.

Olivia stepped aside and watched him. After he'd placed the tray, he looked around. "Your friend not joining you?"

"She's using the restroom. Why?"

"Just making conversation." He set out the napkins. "She has beautiful hair."

She swallowed hard. "Yes...she certainly does."

When he finally left, she leaned against the door, unclenching her hands and letting out a long breath.

Casey, hearing the door close, walked back out. "Is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"Can't you just be...ugly or unnoticeable?"

"Really? So those compliments you never make anymore meant nothing? Seriously, what's wrong?"

Olivia sighed, but the fact she felt she'd managed to get rid of a potential threat in the waiter seemed to have lifted her mood a little, and when she opened her eyes, she offered quietly, "I think you're beautiful. The most amazing woman I've ever seen. I just wish sometimes other people didn't notice it so much."

Casey walked over. pulling her to her. "Can't be helped. By the way, Elliot called, worried about you."

Olivia sighed again, resting her head on Casey's shoulder.

"He said nobody blamed you for being upset or thought badly of you over what happened."

"There's an opening for an ADA in California. We could move there?"

She shook her head. "Let's eat."

"Canada? Africa? We could go together."

Casey kissed her cheek. "I repeat, let's eat."

Olivia stayed where she was for a long time before giving in. Sitting down, she looked at the food with no interest.

Casey sat beside her, taking her hand. "We can't move, Liv. But we can enjoy the next few days together."

Olivia nodded, and attempted to look like she was enjoying her food.

Casey wrapped her arm around her. Seeing Olivia drop a strawberry, she picked it up and held it, a smirk on her lips. "This could be fun. What do you say?"

She looked unsure, but gave a nod all the same, to please Casey.

Casey pressed it to Olivia's lips, gently before kissing her to hold it between them, wrapping her arms around her, rubbing her back. "Liv," she whispered.

Olivia sat rigidly, doing whatever she thought Casey wanted her to.

Casey pulled the strawberry away, setting it on the plate. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I like it."

She sighed. "You're lying."

Olivia lowered her eyes.

Casey held her gently. "What would you like to do? On this trip?"

"...Stay in here and watch TV?"

She nodded. "Okay, but I was hoping for something more...adventurous. Is there anything else?"

"Maybe...if I can find somewhere with good security, we could go out."

"But I have you. Who else do I need?"

"What if I'm not enough?"

"You'll always be enough for me. Isn't that what matters? Where do you want to go?"

Olivia looked unsure, but in the end decided to let Casey decide where they would go.

* * *

Once outside the hotel room, she stuck close to her side, holding her hand tightly.

Casey smiled, kissing her cheek. "Don't worry so much."

Olivia's eyes darted around them, watching everyone, but her grip on Casey's hand loosened a little.

Casey picked a quiet corner and ordered appetizers. "Will you eat a little? Please? For me?"

"I'll try." Olivia moved her chair a little closer to Casey's.

Casey rested a hand on her thigh under the table as their drinks arrived. "I'm okay because you keep me that way."

Olivia looked at her, her face softening for a moment. "She just...so much like you..."

"I know. While you were sleeping, Elliot sent me a picture. It's going to be okay, Liv, I promise," she said, kissing her hand.

Her face hardened again and she lowered her eyes. "He shouldn't have done that."

"Who?"

"Elliot." Olivia went to pull her hand away.

Casey held it tighter. "I'm glad he did. At least now, I understand something...to be able to help you through this. And I want to help you, even if you don't want me to."

Olivia sighed and her eyes continued to scan the room for any familiar faces.

"Why don't you want my help? Do you even want to be with me anymore?"

"You know I do, Casey. That's why I don't want anyone to hurt you!"

"And no one will because you'll take a bullet for me! I trust you! I believe you! Do you want to be upset this entire trip or do you want to enjoy your time away, with me, the woman who wants nothing more than to love you endlessly?"

Olivia looked pained, and her eyes dropped from Casey's face to where their hands lay, clasped together. "I want to enjoy it, but..."

"But what?"

"I'm scared that if something does happen, I won't be enough, or I won't be there, or I'll do something wrong and I can't stop thinking about it."

"Olivia, take a breath. There's always a chance, but that's all life is: a chance. You won't do something wrong. You might panic, but your intuition will kick in. Close your eyes and think back to the first Saturday we spent together, laying on my couch, glancing up at the TV too little, just wrapped up in each other...remember."

Olivia still looked anxious, but with Casey's hand holding hers tightly, she closed her eyes and thought back to that day when she'd been so relaxed. She didn't remember ever being so relaxed before. She even remembered falling asleep in Casey's arms. It was when she woke she knew she couldn't ever live without her, because no one had ever made her feel so...right. When her eyes flickered open again, they were calmer.

Casey wrapped her arm around her, kissing her cheek. "I want us to be like that again, here, on this trip, without worries. Can we?"

"I'll try. Hard." Olivia offered, softly, breathing in the scent of Casey's shampoo.

She smiled. "Good. I promise."

"Hmm? What do you promise?" Olivia's lips pressed to her neck.

A moan resounded in her throat as her eyes drifted closed. "Any...thing you want. I love you, Liv!" The hand that had been resting on her leg, moved to the back of Olivia's head, combing through her hair.

Olivia tried to block out the thoughts that kept entering her head, and the dead face that kept appearing in her mind by focusing on an area of Casey's neck, and by the time they were ready for dessert, Casey's neck, and her face most of the time, was bright red, and her legs were weak.

Casey sighed, arm still wrapped around her. "Are...you better now? God, you may need to carry me out. My legs..."

"What about dessert? You ordered something..."

"And here it comes," she said, pointing to the huge slice of red velvet cake coming toward them, "Would you like to have a bit with me?"

"I'd rather just..." As the waiter placed the cake on the table, Olivia's lips sought Casey's neck again.

"Mmmm, Li-Liv!" she smiled, bringing a piece within inches from her mouth only to set it back down and lean into her, trying to suppress the moans that were threatening.

She knew people were staring and pointing, but as long as Olivia was feeling better, she didn't care. Besides, Olivia wasn't usually for these scenes in public, so she knew too much wouldn't be done.

"I love your...neck. So soft and smooth and smells so good. Smells like...home and love...and me."

"And...that's your favorite part?"

"Of you? No. That would be...a tossup between your...lips, your hands and...every other part of you. Aren't you going to eat your cake?"

"I would, if you could take your lips off me for a few minutes. Are you sure you don't want any?"

Olivia sat back, licking her lips. "Sorry."

Casey leaned turned her back to her and leaned into her. "I never said I didn't like it," she said, taking a bite.

Olivia leant forward and kissed some cream from her lips. "Mm, nice."

She smiled, taking another, then another until it was gone and they were just sitting there. "This is nice."

Olivia was able to take in the whole room from where they were sitting and her eyes were drifting over every person. "Mmhm."

Casey sighed, watching as the waiter walked up and put the bill on the table.

"I'll pay." Olivia offered, her hand sliding over the bill.

She nodded, kissing her neck.

After paying the bill, Olivia returned to the table and began to panic because Casey was no longer there.

Casey walked up behind her from the bathroom, pulling her jacket on. "Looking for someone?"

"Where have you been? Why didn't you stay here? I didn't know where you were—I..." Tears shone in her eyes.

Casey wrapped her arms around her. "I just used the bathroom," she said, wiping the tears that were about to fall. "I'm okay. We can go now."

Olivia nodded. The hand that took Casey's shaking a little. "Sorry."

She rubbed her back a bit. "Let's go back to the hotel."

Olivia nodded. "Can we walk? I need to...cool down a bit."

Casey nodded, holding her hand as they walked out.

* * *

She calmed down a little on the way back, and as the streets were mostly deserted, she began to be a little like her old self, teasing Casey and nipping her neck.

Casey smiled, wrapping her arm around her as they made their way into the room, closing the door. "So, now what?"

"I would say sleep, but I know you so well."

"Not in that way, Casey Novak. Is that all you ever think about?"

"When we're alone and you've left a hickey the size of a fist on my neck, yes. Please? Please? Please?"

Olivia gave a quiet laugh. "Well, I don't know. You might need to convince me..."

Casey straddled her legs, wrapping her arms around her as her hands went under her shirt to rub her bare back and kissed her passionately, lowering her onto the bed as she moved lower to suck on her neck gently before nipping at it. "Please, please!"

Olivia put her hands behind her back. "Not convinced yet..."

Smiling, Casey fling Olivia's shirt over her head, nipping at her collar bone as she unclasped her bra and threw it to the side before moving to suck out those eager buds that were beginning to show while rolling the other between her fingers. "Liv," she whispered, "please?"

When she glanced at Olivia's face, it looked back at her seriously. "I love you, Casey."

Casey stroked her cheek. "I love you too. And I don't care about anyone else right now. I just want you."

Olivia captures her lips and moved her hands to tangle them in Casey's hair, her body finally beginning to respond.

Casey moaned her name into her lips as Olivia slipped her shirt off of her, then her bra and Casey switched positions with her. "You know I love it so much more when you're on top of me," she whispered into her ear. "So much."

Olivia smiled into her, then captured her lips once more.

Casey's hands worked their way into Olivia's jeans, popping the button and taking down the zipper before pulling them and her boxers to the floor. "You know, you look much better like this," she said, pulling her back down to her. "Mind helping me out?"

"I could stay like this always if you like? Just hand around the house in nothing and do everything you ask?" Olivia slid off Casey's skirt.

She smiled. "I wouldn't mind that."

"You wouldn't prefer me in a frilly apron?" Olivia kissed every available section of skin before slowly beginning to slide off Casey's briefs.

Casey's breath hitched in her throat. "No, more like just your gun and badge and press me against the wall."

"Where would I put my gun and badge though, hmm?" Olivia pressed herself harder to Casey.

Casey moaned, her eyes squeezing closed. "M-maybe a belt... Damn! Keep that up!"

Olivia did as she asked. "So...naked, but with a belt, a gun and a badge?" Her tongue lapped a moment at Casey's belly button, making her shiver.

"Y-yeah." Her nails scraped her scalp. "Feels...great. M-more..."

Olivia continued doing everything she could think of that Casey enjoyed, but she couldn't help keeping her ears pricked for noises outside the room.

Casey looked up at her. "Liv...stop," she said, sitting up. "You're...distracted."

Olivia sighed, her eyes looking apologetic. "I'm...sorry."

"Are you? I thought you were trying to get past that, but I guess I was wrong." She picked a towel up from the floor, covering herself before digging in her suitcase and walking into the bathroom. Five minutes later, she walked back out, ready for bed.

As soon as she exited the room, she was pushed against the wall, lips crushing against hers. She could feel the coolness of a gun pressing against her leg.

She tried to fight, but Olivia seemed to have a bit of her guff back and she wrapped her arms around her, kissing hard.

Olivia was a little rough, but the rougher she became, the harder Casey found it to keep her moans quiet. Olivia sunk to her knees in front of her, pulling her body close and almost knocking the redhead over, but steadied her with strong arms.

Casey's breathing heaved when she realized what was going on. She rested her hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer. "Strong..." she whispered."Fuck...warm...kiss..."

Olivia smiled. "It will be warm." Her tongue gently slipped inside Casey, feeling her hips roll into her the faster she thrust her tongue.

"L-Liv! Liv! Oh fuck! Olivia!" she screamed, doubling over into her arms as she gushed into her mouth, shaking as Olivia brought her down into her arms.

Olivia held her tightly. "So, did that make up for before, Novak?"

She rested her head against her shoulder, trying to steady her breathing. ".,,Mhm, can't move..."

Olivia nuzzled her, kissing her neck until she relaxed a little.

"Liv? Will you carry me to bed?"

Olivia kissed her neck before picking her up and laying her on the bed, her hands caressing her body and kissing it as she did so.

Casey rolled onto her side as Olivia slid in and wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you, for finally trusting me."

"I've always trusted you, Case...it's just...everyone else I don't trust."

"But not everyone's like that."

"I'd rather think they are and protect you...us, than think everyone's lovely and sit by smiling while someone tears us apart."

Casey kissed her gently. "But no one's going to take me away. I love you too much!"

"I hope so. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Casey snuggled, deeper into her. "Don't think about it. I'm here now."

"Forever?"

"I can't promise that, but as long as I have a say..."

Olivia snuggled into her, dropping a kiss to her shoulder. "I love you too."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Now what?

_**Note:** Sorry we haven't updated any of the usuals like Cabin Fever, For the Best of Our Years, Kiss Imprints or Nightmare Within a Dream. We've taken a temporary break and begun writing a few drabbles to get ourt juices flowing again. We haven't forgotten them, far from it. We'll be back._

_Actually, the next chapter of mine, In Her Eyes, is nearly compete and for those who've been keeping up with my AO series, the first chapter of the 4th installment is well under way._

Review thanks to: tummer22, Bkwrmchar, Ren Victoria, SVUobssesion & Guest

Thanks to: That70sShowLova for Beta-ing!

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	4. Desire the World

Fragile

By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 4: Desire the World**

Olivia, for the first time in several days, slept deeply, her head resting on Casey's shoulder and her arms wrapped tightly around her. The next morning, it took Casey several minutes to work herself free, as every time she moved Olivia tightened her grip. Finally on her feet, Casey padded around the room before making for the shower.

Olivia stretched from head to toe, yawning and feeling better than she had in days. She stood up, donning on a large t-shirt and jeans before knocking on the bathroom door. "Casey?"

In the shower, Casey didn't hear her.

Olivia knocked harder and tried the knob. Finding it locked, she knocked ever harder. "Casey?"

Finally, she heard her, stepping from the shower and over to the door. "What is it?"

Olivia had already been in the process of running towards it, and just as Casey replied, Olivia and most of the door, fell into the room.

Casey picked her up off the wet floor. "Olivia, I'm fine. Really."

"Why didn't you answer?"

"How well do you hear in the shower with the sprayer directly on your head?"

Olivia rubbed her shoulder, a frown on her face.

Casey just sighed, holding her close. "It's okay. How's your shoulder?"

Olivia sighed and lowered her head. "Sorry. I am trying..."

She nodded, lifting her chin and kissing her gently. "I know and I'm glad, but I can't go about my life worrying constantly. I'd never get anything done. I love you. You know that, right?"

"I know." She glanced guiltily at the broken door, and then offered a smile. "Wanna make a run for it?"

She sighed. "We wouldn't get very far. It was an accident though..." Casey kissed her neck.

"What would we say though? 'Sorry we were having rough sex against the door, went too hard and busted it'?"

Olivia pulled her toward the bed. "So, now what? Beach?"

Casey shook her head. "I don't know."

Olivia looked towards the door, the up at Casey as she sat on the bed. "How about we just go out. Anywhere. Away from here. I'll call Elliot and he can get someone to fix the door."

Casey nodded. "All right. Well, I'd better get dressed," she said, walking back into the bathroom.

Olivia followed her, her eyes downcast. "..You normally get dressed in front of me."

She turned, walking back out, clothes in her arms, absent of any towel. She walked over, kneeling in front of her and caressing her cheek. "Would you like me to?"

"I just want...normalcy."

Casey smiled, sitting on her lap and leaning against her. "You know, I don't have to get dressed...right away."

Olivia smiled, resting her head on Casey's shoulder. "Now that would be normal."

Casey kissed her deeply, getting off of her lap and slipping her shirt off, sitting back on her lap. "I much rather prefer you like this," she said, kissing her neck, "if you'll let me, that is."

Olivia was even more loving than usual, her hands never leaving Casey's body.

Casey gently slid Olivia's boxers to the floor and laid her head on her shoulder, her hand resting between her legs. "Are you going to be alright? What do you see? What do you want?"

"..I want to show you how sorry I am."

"Sorry?"

Olivia kissed her deeply.

Casey wrapped both arms around her neck, moaning into her lips, shivering from the intensity.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

An hour later, Olivia lay back, a relaxed smile on her face as she watched Casey get dressed, dancing around the room for her.

Casey sighed, sitting down on the bed. "We really should get back to New York. I did promise Cragen I'd drag you in."

Olivia lowered her eyes, sliding her hand along to hold Casey's. She was silent for a while, before she spoke. "Ok. But I can't guarantee I won't message you every 5 minutes when you leave me."

"Leave and go where?"

"Back to work."

"You're going too."

"I know. Doesn't mean I can't message you all the time, does it?" Olivia pulled Casey close again.

Casey smiled. "No."

"Maybe...maybe...you could...stay with me more, or…move in?"

She looked at her oddly. "What?"

"...Move in with me?"

"Why?"

"..Because I love you, and I want to spend more time with you, and I want to wake up to you every morning." Olivia stood from the bed, pulling the sheet around herself.

Casey smiled, handing her clothes to her. "Is this...some kind of...proposal? 'Cause I-I really don't know..."

"You don't know whether you love me? Want to spend more time with me?" Olivia spoke sharply, beginning to pace.

Casey quickly, took her wrist. "That's not it, Liv. I do love you. I do want to spend more time with you. That's not..." she sighed. "...I meant were you going to give a speech on one knee and claim you just can't live without me one more day," she bit her lip, "i-if you were going to ask..."

Olivia caressed her hand. "...I can't live without you, surely all this has proved that, Case. I...even the thought of going to work, of not seeing you all day scares the hell out me of. I want to spend every waking hour with you, forever."

She smiled. "If you're going to...just please dress before you do this!"

"I..if you're not going to say yes..."

"If you'll ask me the right way..."

Olivia sank to her knees in front of her, her hands sliding down her thighs as she looked up at her. "Casey..."

"Yes, Olivia? What is it?"

She opened and closed her mouth several times before uttering, "...Marry me? Be mine? Forever?"

"Well..." she could see the fear in her eyes, feel her hands shake as she grabbed them."Yes, I will," she replied, green orbs sparkling. "I love you."

**THE END**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, that's it. Hope you liked it!

Review thanks to: Ren Victoria & Kikilia14

Please read & review!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


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